True tales of tailgating
A depiction of one man's Homecoming journey
Tim Albrecht
Issue date: 10/28/08 Section: Sports
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I was given this idea a few weeks ago and just now had the opportunity to do it. There couldn't have been a more fitting date than Homecoming, being a guarantee for a heavy intake of liquid courage. However, my plan hit a bit of snag days before the game as my group of potential drunken friends told me they couldn't make it up for the game.
There was still one friend left in town though, Clayton or C-Vett as I like to call him. C-Vett is the type of guy that everybody wants to hang out with until he takes it too far over the top.
This can be a problem, but he was perfect for the job of creating entertaining moments on my journey. I just had to make sure he was kept in check but this is a task comparable to trying to hate Coach K- as much as you want to it just can't be done. You can't help but respect him. Me being a die-hard Carolina fan, that last statement makes me want to puke, but it's the truth.
9:00 a.m. My wife wakes me up despite the fact she knows I've gotten a combined seven hours of sleep over the past three days. Not a good start.
9:05 a.m. The wife asks me why she can't come to the game. I explain for the thirty-fifth time, "You said you don't want to tailgate and that's what I'm going to do. So I asked Clayton to come with me." Wife is disappointed.
10:00 a.m. C-Vett "claims" he's on his way. He figures ten to thirty minutes. My immediate question is, "Do you know where you are? Because that's quite a gap," to which he replies "Yeah I'm downtown." I know he hasn't left his house yet but whatever."Just get here." Click.
10:10 a.m. Wife again asking why she can't come with. I explain to her again. Still disappointed.
10:30 a.m. No sign of C-Vett. He calls, "I'm ten minutes away." My original thought is confirmed. "From where? My house, Grand Forks, or Canada?"
10:45 a.m. Wife again. Explanation. Disappointed.
11:00 a.m. C-Vett shows up at my house and immediately starts talking about his zebra he bought recently. There are probably only three people, in the world I could see buying a zebra: Michael Jackson, for all the little kiddies, Lawrence Taylor, thinking it would be cool to snort coke of the back of a Zebra, and Clayton. C-Vett wouldn't do it for either of those other insane reasons. My friend is the type of guy that will do almost anything to get a rise out of people and is constantly looking for that next thing that would raise his "WOW" factor. The "WOW" factor only applies to a select few individuals in society. Mainly it's for those people that when they do things and you can't explain them, all you can say is "WOW". Some people on this list would include Britney Spears, Dennis Rodman, Michael Jackson, and Manny Ramirez. If you ask C-Vett why he bought a zebra he'll tell you, "Simply cause I can," but I believe he did it knowing it would increase his "WOW" factor at least a hundred times over. Later you will see why my belief holds water.
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