2008 Woodie Awards
Blind dates are always a bad idea
Dan Dewald
Issue date: 2/2/07 Section: Opinion
- Page 1 of 1
About a week after the idea was run past me, I found myself in the back of a stretch Hummer Limousine holding a half-dozen roses in my hand, with nothing more to go on than a name. A name? My logic spoke against the idea: "Dan, this is a terrible, terrible idea." Then I did it.
This was no longer about acting logically. It's gotten to that point, you know, even camels need to drink water sometimes. Before the date started I ran a hundred scenarios through my head until I settled on a plan of action. I needed the buddy system. The reality of the situation was I didn't know what this girl looked like.
I'm not that big of a guy; I could easily be overpowered, handcuffed, beat up, or drugged. It wouldn't take much. If I wasn't careful, I wouldn't be eating at Boston's Pizza anymore; I'd be coming to in the basement-dungeon of a dominatrix, and I wasn't about to let that happen.
I gave my limo driver specific instructions that unless I told him otherwise, I was to be taken directly back to where he found me. It didn't even need to be a worst case scenario; even if things just didn't work out well, it would be an easy way to end it without hurt feelings. I knew I could trust the man because he also was an airplane pilot/bus driver, like most aviation students in Grand Forks.
He took me to her apartment, and I gave her the flowers. It was an ideal start I guess. But what normally would have been a split-second decision to move on ended up being the beginning of my night, with someone I was interested in dealing with. But it went OK. We eventually made it to the restaurant and ate some food, talked, and the driver took us back home separately. Lucky for me, there were no whips or handcuffs. It actually went fairly close to as planned.
The only thing that surprised me were my friends crashing the whole thing and sitting across from us at the restaurant. I had to pretend I didn't know them the entire time. It worked out as best it possibly could have, but with all things considered, I'm still going on record saying that I'm completely against blind dates.
I didn't even need to pay for the flowers, limo, or meal; someone else did. It cost me nothing. I think that makes this the perfect example of why blind dates suck. They're for the benefit of people who set you up, not yours. What's really in it for me when the chances are it's not going to work out?
Surprises can be good, but not if they're surprise people on your planned evenings. There's no reason in my mind to go out someplace with an absolute stranger you've never so much as seen before. It's pretty obvious what's going to happen.
Take my advice and don't do it for the same reasons you don't plan on picking up hitchhikers, or taking candy from strangers on the way to school. There is no good reason to go on blind dates unless you enjoy entertaining your friends.
My date was actually a very nice girl; we made semi-good conversation. I'm glad I met her, but it wasn't the right time or place.
This was no longer about acting logically. It's gotten to that point, you know, even camels need to drink water sometimes. Before the date started I ran a hundred scenarios through my head until I settled on a plan of action. I needed the buddy system. The reality of the situation was I didn't know what this girl looked like.
I'm not that big of a guy; I could easily be overpowered, handcuffed, beat up, or drugged. It wouldn't take much. If I wasn't careful, I wouldn't be eating at Boston's Pizza anymore; I'd be coming to in the basement-dungeon of a dominatrix, and I wasn't about to let that happen.
I gave my limo driver specific instructions that unless I told him otherwise, I was to be taken directly back to where he found me. It didn't even need to be a worst case scenario; even if things just didn't work out well, it would be an easy way to end it without hurt feelings. I knew I could trust the man because he also was an airplane pilot/bus driver, like most aviation students in Grand Forks.
He took me to her apartment, and I gave her the flowers. It was an ideal start I guess. But what normally would have been a split-second decision to move on ended up being the beginning of my night, with someone I was interested in dealing with. But it went OK. We eventually made it to the restaurant and ate some food, talked, and the driver took us back home separately. Lucky for me, there were no whips or handcuffs. It actually went fairly close to as planned.
The only thing that surprised me were my friends crashing the whole thing and sitting across from us at the restaurant. I had to pretend I didn't know them the entire time. It worked out as best it possibly could have, but with all things considered, I'm still going on record saying that I'm completely against blind dates.
I didn't even need to pay for the flowers, limo, or meal; someone else did. It cost me nothing. I think that makes this the perfect example of why blind dates suck. They're for the benefit of people who set you up, not yours. What's really in it for me when the chances are it's not going to work out?
Surprises can be good, but not if they're surprise people on your planned evenings. There's no reason in my mind to go out someplace with an absolute stranger you've never so much as seen before. It's pretty obvious what's going to happen.
Take my advice and don't do it for the same reasons you don't plan on picking up hitchhikers, or taking candy from strangers on the way to school. There is no good reason to go on blind dates unless you enjoy entertaining your friends.
My date was actually a very nice girl; we made semi-good conversation. I'm glad I met her, but it wasn't the right time or place.
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