Spring Break
Smoking ban: A crock of nonsense
Chris England
Issue date: 10/10/06 Section: Opinion
In a recent development that left former first lady Nancy Reagan stricken with glee, UND has announced plans for a smoke-free campus. Pending a statement from Mrs. Reagan, UND President Charles Kupchella has referenced a planned "social ostracism" of smoking, assuring students that it is "for their own good."
Like it or not, we all have been drafted as leaders in the "wellness movement." Students are to refrain from gathering publicly in groups larger than four, and sudden movements are highly inadvisable until the smoking is under control. There is a new sheriff in town.
Oh, ye hapless sinners, imagine if you can ... A student sits outside; a cigarette dangles from his lips. Two men approach.
"Watcha' doin' boy? You smokin'?" The student nods. "Well, my ole' buddy here, Sheriff Robert E. Lee tells me that's in violation of campus code No. 1567. You're a criminal now, son. We smoke-free. Bobby, get this degenerate off the campus and out of my sight. Don't fight him, boy. You'll just make him mad, ahehe ..."
It is a terrible scene indeed, but one must not dwell on such heinous possibilities - the strain causes dementia. A campus-wide smoking ban hardly would be remarkable; Americans have a storied love affair with bizarre moral/social legislation of questionable legitimacy. Booze, blacks and back-door sex all have been outlawed or otherwise relegated to the dregs of society at some point in this nation's existence by invasive lawmakers.
Why, our own legislature in this fair state of North Dakota refuses to repeal a cohabitation law that criminalizes unmarried couples living under one roof. That's right, son, you're not just a sinner, you're a criminal, too! That's the benefit of majoritarianism: if some small, minority behavior is deemed to be in poor taste, it easily can be outlawed.
Beware, my friends, there be puritans on this prairie, and they know the legal system.
Yes, the law is a fickle beast in this one Nation under God, and when Sheriff Robert E. Lee comes knocking, not even He can save you...
Like it or not, we all have been drafted as leaders in the "wellness movement." Students are to refrain from gathering publicly in groups larger than four, and sudden movements are highly inadvisable until the smoking is under control. There is a new sheriff in town.
Oh, ye hapless sinners, imagine if you can ... A student sits outside; a cigarette dangles from his lips. Two men approach.
"Watcha' doin' boy? You smokin'?" The student nods. "Well, my ole' buddy here, Sheriff Robert E. Lee tells me that's in violation of campus code No. 1567. You're a criminal now, son. We smoke-free. Bobby, get this degenerate off the campus and out of my sight. Don't fight him, boy. You'll just make him mad, ahehe ..."
It is a terrible scene indeed, but one must not dwell on such heinous possibilities - the strain causes dementia. A campus-wide smoking ban hardly would be remarkable; Americans have a storied love affair with bizarre moral/social legislation of questionable legitimacy. Booze, blacks and back-door sex all have been outlawed or otherwise relegated to the dregs of society at some point in this nation's existence by invasive lawmakers.
Why, our own legislature in this fair state of North Dakota refuses to repeal a cohabitation law that criminalizes unmarried couples living under one roof. That's right, son, you're not just a sinner, you're a criminal, too! That's the benefit of majoritarianism: if some small, minority behavior is deemed to be in poor taste, it easily can be outlawed.
Beware, my friends, there be puritans on this prairie, and they know the legal system.
Yes, the law is a fickle beast in this one Nation under God, and when Sheriff Robert E. Lee comes knocking, not even He can save you...
Viewing Comments 1 - 2 of 2
Geoff V.
posted 10/09/06 @ 4:32 PM EST
I am glad Mr. England sees this for the crock that it is, but I wish he would have researched it more fully. There is no proof, and I mean NO PROOF, that occational exposure to second hand smoke is harmful. (Continued…)
G.M.
posted 10/10/06 @ 10:29 PM EST
I was expecting a strong backlash and a strong wave of support when this issue was raised. The main problem is that, as stated in the article, that this new "plan" is indeed a biased-based decision. (Continued…)
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